“I just don’t know what is going to happen to the church.”
I’d had this conversation dozens of times. It ends with everyone agreeing that the church might be completely different than it is now -- not a bad thing. But this time, my interlocutor, an Episcopal priest, added something I’d never heard anyone say.
“You know what I’m afraid of?” She sounded light-hearted, but I knew a kernel of truth was about to pop. “I’m afraid I won’t like it and I won’t want to go.”
I thought to myself, I don’t like it now. I don’t want to go as it is.
“Really?” she said.
Did I say that out loud?
Many of my colleagues, friends and acquaintances are church people. They are involved with church-related institutions, doing work on behalf of congregations, ministry, theological education and the coming of the kingdom. Every once in a while I ask them to tell me honestly whether they go to church.
Many, of course, are active members of congregations, not only regular worshippers but teachers, elders, lay leaders, choir members, part of the engine that makes the place run. But some of us are not. Some of us are just phoning it in, putting in appearances, marking time until the church gets completely different.
For all the talk about differences in generations, I know lots of Boomers who are as discontent as the people under-35 are said to be. It seems especially poignant for those of us whose vocations lie in the dream of the church and whose work takes place outside of congregational ministry.
We spend our working lives talking and thinking about the church, its leadership and its myriad complexities. We critique and deconstruct, searching for ways to respond with the creativity and resources available to us. Maybe we are just worn out when Sunday comes. Maybe we feel we have done our part for ministry before the Lord’s Day, that we’ve given what we have to give to the institution and now just need to watch “Meet the Press” or read the paper at IHOP. Who needs to get up early and put on a suit to go see what we are devoted to changing?
What do you think? Do you know people who make a living by working for good leadership, good education and good structures for the church -- and don’t go to church? What do you think that’s about? Let me turn the screws a little more: how many pastors do you think would ditch church if they weren’t the ones preaching, praying and leading?
Melissa Wiginton is Vice President for Ministry Programs and Planning at the Fund for Theological Education.
