January 5, 2010 | After learning to tell her own story of brokenness, healing and reconciliation, Josephine Munyeli was trained to help others as a specialist with World Vision International, a Christian humanitarian organization. Drawing on her personal experiences of the Rwandan genocide in 1994, Munyeli leads others in her country through a process of grieving, reconciliation and forgiveness.

Munyeli is trained in various trauma-healing processes, including those developed by Rhiannon Lloyd and the Antares Foundation, and has taught more than 300 people to facilitate healing in their communities.

Munyeli spoke with Faith & Leadership while at Duke University as a guest of the Center for Reconciliation.

Q: How does your work at World Vision relate to your personal experiences with genocide and trauma?

At World Vision I work in the Peace Building and Reconciliation Department with a team of 80 people in different regions. We are a mixed group; some are from Rwanda, others were living in the Congo or in Uganda. It’s God's grace [that I am doing this work.] When I joined World Vision I didn't know even what reconciliation was, or that it was necessary.

I joined the department of rehabilitation [in 1996] when the displaced people were returning to Rwanda. Their houses were destroyed; their schools were destroyed and they had nothing. After six months [with World Vision] I attended a workshop on healing. It transformed my life... My husband died when I was 29. I hadn't had an opportunity to revisit my story ... surviving genocide, the pain of raising my children alone. [The workshop] gave me the opportunity for healing from those things. I noticed that I was really broken and that I had a story to tell about healing and reconciliation.

World Vision leadership transferred me from the Rehabilitation Department into the Healing and Reconciliation Department to lead the healing workshops. We are dealing with the people's wounds because we believe that healing is the foundation for reconciliation. Church leaders used to tell us to forgive and forget, but if you have to forgive, it's an obligation. It's like a mask. Forgiveness is a long process.

When you share your story it is a step toward healing; it's easy to reconcile when you know that your story has gone from the inside outward. This is my job.

Q: How do you reconcile such intense trauma as you experienced?

In the middle of the suffering God was there; he was beside me. When you discover that God has a plan for your life, he ends the suffering. It is hard to understand, but this is the key. When you see that God is present in the midst of suffering and you know that he has a plan for you, then you know that life doesn't end with the suffering. You discover that after the night comes the day. In the healing workshop I discovered that the light is there and God is my light.

Q: Were you a Christian before the genocide?

Yes, I was a Christian. I have a Catholic background but I'm Pentecostal from Assemblies of God.

Q: What is the process that you take people through in the workshops?

We have many processes depending on the group and the funding. We have a biblical approach to reconciliation and we have another approach, which is more psychological -- people share their stories of pain and we do the bereavement process together.

When you don't mourn you can't take a step forward; we in Rwanda have many things to grieve, many losses in Rwanda. People explore the pain connected to their losses and they share together, they cry together. This process takes three days in the workshop. During the process, we introduce theories about bereavement and the different steps of the bereavement process so that people can understand themselves and the way they are coping on their journey.

After three days of bereavement we interrupt the process. After a month, we take another three days and focus on dealing with emotions. During those three days we learn the management of feelings. We explore the way we reacted to things when we were young children in our families. Many times the way we react [to trauma] is connected to our upbringing. People try to make new choices about how to deal with what happens to them.

In the third month, we explore forgiveness together for three days. This is the last stage of the bereavement process. We see how reparation is involved in reconciliation. When people understand what true forgiveness is, they can make the choice to forgive properly.

Q: What does it mean to “forgive properly?”

Forgiveness doesn't happen without expressing how you feel. You have to express all the tough things in the heart before you can say, “Please forgive me” or before you can say, “I forgive you.” You have to feel the pain and reconnect to the pain because forgiveness is costly. It costs our emotions.

The process of forgiveness involves expressing how you feel and saying, “Now I want peace in my heart; please forgive me.” I don't want to keep connected to the bad memories of when you did evil to me. I don't want to be a prisoner of my pain. When the memories come, I don’t want to be devastated by them. I want to be able to sleep. This is what we think forgiveness is about.